2

Its 7am and we are still up from the late night of partying. I come up with the brilliant idea of asking my good friend to get me more fuked up. I say “William, I want to get high…. so high that we take out the “gh” out of high and I’ll be “Hi” ummmmmmm obviously by the sound of that comment I really didn’t need anything else but rest. He returns to the living room with a huge bag of mushrooms and places a Huge French horn shaped purple sheened vittle in my palm. I quivered with fear and sighed. 2 hours later I’m puking in the flower garden outside, which to this day nothing has ever grown there since…. not even a weed. I’m laying on the ground and i notice hawks flying above me… circling my head. Im out of my mind. Then everyone gets the brilliant idea to head to Cafe del Sol—–great. We get there and order mimosas. Everything is fine and so wonderful until this loudmouth stockbroker Cito guy starts blabbing about how he made 50 grand this week on stocks… blah blah blah raaa roooo blech!!.. Ruining every sense of fun I had in my head . This guy is blowing my fun and my mind boggling buzz. So I stumble off with a filled champagne flute toward the duck pond trying to forget the annoying man and to reclaim my perfect morning buzz. I get 20 feet from the pond and my legs give out. Jesus really… whats next. I’m laying there trying to get some people to help me. A nice family strolls by and I’m laying there arms out…. “Could ya help me”. The father screams at me “Get away from my son!!!” uhhhhhh okay . I mean I’m out of my mind but in no way in the mood to molest a young boy. hahahahhaha. Okay so here I am crawling through the parking lot toward cafe del sol and all of sudden start puking. Tons of puke… I mean its a mess… I’m a mess… now I’m really really getting unbelievably high…. without the “gh” my god….. I’m laying there and all of sudden a group of 6 foot tall ducks are all around me… pecking at my puke… then they start pecking at my face cleaning the puke off my upper lip, pretty much my whole face. Okay… imagine if your completely shrooming balls and huge ducks are all around you … pretty much a beat down… huge duck faces coming into your vision… pecking at your face. By this time I’ve completely lost my mind and gave up. Then this nice gay couple on roller skates came by and saved me… they go to Cafe del Sol on my garbled request.. Screaming at my friends on how they could let me get this high…. They run back over and there are 15-20 people around me now…. ducks were shooed away… thank god… My friends pile my dilapidated body in a taxi and home bound was me…. It took me 2 weeks to recover but i believe my IQ level dropped at least 37 points from that day… ho hum

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