Just the other night I was at EOS. All my friends were on the dance floor and I had no one to talk to. I was bored out of my fucking mind. Luckly I had my POS iPhone on me, so I decided to check out what’s new on barconfessions.com. I was so into it I didn’t even notice this hot blond that set next to me. She gave me a little nudge so I looked up. She said “what’s up, babe? You look bored?”. She grabbed the phone out of my hand and said “how about we go to the restroom and I give you the blow job of your life”. I was a little stunned. I looked at her then I looked at my phone and then I looked back at her and said “bitch! Give me my phone back! I’m gay”.

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